The secret to confidence doesn’t require a special cream laced with flecks of gold, venom injections from a basilisk fang or Roger Ramjet’s protein pills.
It is much simpler than that…..…or is it?
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the strength to carry on in spite of it
Our instincts keep us safe from danger, constantly assessing situations for potential physical harm.
These instincts have evolved to a point where they keep us safe from emotional harm as well such as embarrassment, judgment and failure.
The fear that we will fail, we are not intelligent enough and rejection, keeps us safe within our comfort zone,
but it also stops us from taking that new opportunity at work, speaking to strangers or telling that special person how you feel.
It also stops us feeling confident, capable and that we are deserving of the lives we have.
“If you want to find the secret to confidence, my number one piece of advice is to look your fears in the eye, say hello and shake a hand (even if yours is shaking).
I promise it will get easier with practice. The more you can prove you can do it- and not shrivel up with shame and inadequacy – the more you will want to.
But guess what? Other people are really cool and can teach you a lot about yourself, including how confident you really can be.” Lisa Messenger
Last year I stood up to my fears, the “Enough” Family; not good enough, not cool enough, not talented enough, not experienced enough, not enough.
I played my first solo acoustic music gig in December of 2014. Since then I have played 10 more. What has changed?
Well for one I had a friend who told me I was amazing enough. Her belief in me helped me to start building the wall to keep fear out.
Secondly, open mic events started to pop up around the Riverland, and I performed in front of crowds and had a go.
Thirdly, I told myself that everything will be ok and it’s ok to fail, but only if I give myself a chance first.
Confidence – fake it until you make it, it just takes practise, resilience and a few simple strategies.
Once you jump in, you’ll find it’s not as bad as you expected and actually a lot of fun- well better than wrapping yourself in a itchy blanket.
Next time you feel nervous, ask yourself: what’s the worst that can happen?